The WIDE range of emotions when buying a home…identified…150

Deerwood Realty and Friends Podcast

I saw an interesting story online about how you should take the emotion out of buying a home…I’m not sure that’s possible and I’m not sure  you should.  Let’s discuss.

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1.  So the idea here is that we are in a competitive market, and you shouldn’t let your emotions get the better of you.  I agree with that up to a certain point.  But let’s take a look at the range of emotions one may go through in the home buying process …it’s actually pretty intense

A.  Enjoyment

1.  Happiness:  You may feel happiness a few times during the home buying process.  The happiest you should feel is when you finally get the keys to your new home.

2.  Relief:  The relief comes when you start working with an agent you can trust, and then again when you have a home inspector go through the house and things look good

3.  Contentment:  There’s nothing like the feeling of waking up in your new house the first night you stay in it.

4.  Joy  Joy comes into play a few times during the process.  Finding a house you’d actually like to make an offer on, getting  a house under contract, getting the keys…all joy

5.  Pride:  It’s kind of fun to watch people who buy houses start to work on them, clean them, and make improvements.  The sense of pride during this time is high.

6.  Excitement:  I feel like the sense of excitement never stops from the moment you decide you are going to buy your home to the time when you move in.  There’s just this energy….

7.  Peace:  I don’t see a lot of peace during the process, but there is a sense of peace when the deal is closed. 

8.  Satisfaction:  Satisfaction shows up when you have some idea of what you want in a house and when you then actually see them in the market.  There are houses out there for you and you feel that sense of satisfaction.

B. Sadness

1.  heartbroken:  It’s usually when you lose out to someone else’s offer for a home.  One of the worst feelings during the process.

2.  Gloomy:  If the process isn’t going as you thought it would, doom and gloom sets in.  This makes finding a home tough because you are in a negative state of mind

3.  disappointed:  Disappointed you aren’t finding a house, disappointed that houses are so darn expensive, disappointed that the process isn’t going as smoothly as you thought.

4.  hopeless:  I have buyers who become hopeless.  It’s terribly destructive to the process because when you are hopeless, you don’t do the things necessary to find a house. 

5.  Unhappy:  You are going to be unhappy during the process.  You may have a seller who is a jerk, a seller’s agent who is a jerk..there might be paperwork snafus…definitely going to be unhappy.

6.  lost:  I definitely get a sense that some buyers feel lost.  After all, the process is overwhelming.  Especially in this market, you are constantly competing with many other offers. Add to that you may not know what part of town you want to live in, and your friends may be finding homes while you aren’t.  This can all lead to a sense of loss.

7.  resigned:  I don’t necessarily look at being resigned as a bad thing. I’ve noticed some husbands just check out after about a month and they look to their wives to just make a decision…any decision.  The husbands are resigned to the search.

8.  Miserable:  Buying a house can be a miserable experience.  It’s like you’re not even a person…looking for houses, some of which, you’d never buy.  Kind of like a trip to the dentist.

C.  Fear

1.  worried:  There is a real fear that occurs that you may never find a house at all.

2. doubtful:  I don’t know that doubtful comes in very often…there are other emotions that cover doubtful.

3.  nervous:  It can be nerve racking to put all of your financial documents out there for a pre approval on a mortgage. 

4.  anxious:  Anxious happens when you put that first offer in on a property and the acceptance time is 24 hours.  Buyers tend to lose sleep and have their phone right next to them at all times.  If I had trouble contacting someone before there’s an offer written, I won’t have any trouble now.

5.  terrified:  WHAT ARE WE DOING?  First time homebuyer putting in an offer for a home that’s two or three times more than they make in a year.

6.  panicked:  Panic usually comes from signatures that have to be on time, or documents that are missing that need to be filed.  I do my best to be aware of important dates during the process so my buyers don’t have to panic too often

7.  horrified:  Walking through some of the houses where it looks like a murderer lived there…they are horrified that they chose such a terrible house to look at but it isn’t their fault

8.  desperate:  desperation usually sets in when buyers need a house by a certain date..like their lease is ending.  This causes bad decisions.

9.  stressed:  Buyers are stressed when they realize just how tough it is to get a house when the market is hot.  All it takes is one other buyer who wants a house more than you do and you lose out. 

D.   Anger

1.  Annoyed:  The home buying process can be annoying.  Let’s say you work all week and you’re looking forward to the weekend and now you’re looking at homes all afternoon.  It’s annoying

2.  Frustrated: Some buyers think they are going to go out like you would go to the grocery store and just buy a box of cereal…it’s not like that with a house and as soon as they realize this it causes frustration.

3.  Bitter:  Losing out to an all cash buyer makes buyers bitter. 

4.  Infuriated:  Sometimes buyers get angry..especially if they feel like they are being treated unfairly by the sellers. 

5.  Irritated:  Sellers and their agents will do things that irritate buyers.  One of those things is setting showing times that work for sellers and not buyers.  Another thing that happens is that sellers will note certain things in the house can stay, but they are work to get rid of so it’s not like it was of any benefit to the seller.  Paint usually falls in this category for some buyers.  They don’t want paint for touchup because they are going to paint the house with colors of their choosing.

6.  Mad:  Buyers tend to get angry when things just aren’t going right for them.  It may be that they heard something incorrectly from their agent and acted on it.  It may be that the agent didn’t hear something the buyer was trying to communicate which resulted in an offer that didn’t get the house desired.

7.  Cheated:  Buyers will feel cheated if they buy a house and they find something wrong with the house that wasn’t disclosed or wasn’t found during the inspection period.

8.  Vengeful:  Buyers don’t forget how they were treated during the homebuying process by the sellers typically.  And, when these buyers go to sell their house, they don’t do the buyers any favors….sellers can harbor ill will for many, many years.

9.  Insulted:  Let’s say you put in an offer to buy a house for 650,000, with an asking price of 625,000 and your agent doesn’t get anything more than a text message or a group message that says something to the effect that if you were the seller’s choice, you wouldn’t be getting the text.  It’s quite insulting.

E.  Disgust

1.  Dislike:  Buyers can tend to dislike the homebuying process after they are in it for a few weeks.  It’s quite unnatural, looking at other people’s houses and trying to put yourself in them.

2.  Revulsion:  When buyers see what they get for their money on the market, it’s a feeling of revulsion.  Everyone has in their heads that they are going to find this house for cheap that no one else does…and when they realize that isn’t happening, revulsion sets in.

3.  Loathing:  Many homebuyers loath going to showings…especially open houses.  It’s odd and counterproductive but it happens.

4.  Offended:  I think buyers take offense if you talk down to them like they are stupid.  They may be very intelligent people in their own fields of employment, but they don’t get the real estate industry and they get offended when it doesn’t work like their industry.

5.  Horrified:  I think the first time something breaks in a house a new homeowner buys there’s just this fear.  Did we do something wrong?  How do we fix it?  Will it get fixed at all?

6.  Uncomfortable:  I’m pretty sure that the homebuying and home selling processes are designed to make everyone uncomfortable during the process.  That’s why I’m laughing at zillow’s efforts to make the house buying process go smoother.  It doesn’t go smoothly because the only way to get a deal done is through give an take, and making everyone uncomfortable.

7.   Aversion:  This feeling happens when buyers lose out on a house…they aren’t ready to go look for new houses so they avoid the situation altogether.   It’s usually temporary..maybe a week or two, and in that time, the perfect house could have come to market but the buyers are no longer prepared to make an offer. 

Hopefully you can see the range of emotions buyers can feel during the process.  My goal here is just to make you aware of these emotions so you aren’t surprised if you catch yourself feeling this way.

Source:  ME


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Video Transcript

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