Deerwood Realty and Friends Podcast
I saw an advice column and the question was asked, Should I hire my friend as our real estate agent…let’s look at the scenario.
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-Woman who is friends with another woman who has recently become a real estate agent.
-She has done 8 deals
-Husband is on the fence, not enough experience, he says
-Wife says wants to support her friend.
Advice giver said it depended on the temperament of the friend, which I think is silly because it’s your decision to make.
Let’s understand that I am severely biased in this question, so I’ll put it in the nature of should vs should not
You SHOULD hire your friend if
1. You want to remain friends You know when your kid wants to sell some candy for a fundraiser? If you don’t pick your friend to sell your house, don’t waste your time with the kids candy. It’s not happening. You may think this is harsh. Maybe it is. But if you can’t even have your friends use you in a transaction as a real estate agent, that’s not a good sign for your career.
2. You want someone who wants you to have great success. I show houses to lots of people, and really, I consider all of my clients friends. When we’re on the hunt for a new house, I want them to get the best house for them. The one that they can live in for many years and be happy with. When they do finally get that house, I couldn’t be more happy for them.
3. You want to work with someone you trust. If you are good friends with someone, there’s a good chance you know them well enough to trust them. Trust is so important with respect to buying or selling a home.
4. You have had stressful situations before If you are working with your friend in a real estate transaction, there is a high chance that you will encounter stress along the way. From offer acceptance, to inspections, to loan funding, there are areas where it’s just stressful. If you’ve been friends through ups and downs, that should only benefit you through the process.
You SHOULD NOT hire your friend if
1. You think you should never do business with friends. Some people are like this. And they will say that they do it because they value the friendship over business. I don’t understand that logic…if you can’t do business with friends, what is the point?
2. You think your friend is an idiot .. The husband in this scenario showing reservation in hiring the friend is a tell. It’s probably NOT the experience that he is worried about. It could just be that your friend is an idiot and there’s no reason to use them for any reason. I know that sounds harsh, but everyone probably has that friend that they just are uncomfortable working with. As an example, I can remember some friends I’ve had along the way that I wouldn’t trust to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time…I don’t know what that says about me, but I definitely wouldn’t use them for a transaction like buying a house.
3. Your friend can’t keep their mouth shut. You know how you have a friend who is also friends with another friend of yours? That’s usually great, but it’s not great if your real estate agent friend keeps telling the party that isn’t involved in buying a house everything about the transaction. As an agent, you have to keep your mouth shut when working with friends. You owe that to your client.
4. You think your friend will take advantage of you This is harsh, I know. But I’ve seen friends and family members taken advantage of by their agent. It sounds sinister, but it’s usually an innocent pattern that leads to other issues. For example, maybe your real estate agent friend thinks that you will never leave them so they don’t have to work so hard finding listings that work for you or setting appointments for showings. Maybe they have an inability to separate business from the friendship so they are always looking to go out for drinks after showings and not actually concentrating on getting a home for you under contract. It’s strange, but the comfort level you have with your friend keeps everything mellow but that also causes you miss things.
5. Your significant other says no. There might be a good reason your significant other decides they don’t want to use your friend as their agent. Are significant others always right? No, of course not. Is it worth it to choose your real estate agent friend OVER your significant others protest? NO. This is not a good idea…ever. There’s an order in a relationship and when you choose a friend over your significant other in this case here is what is going to happen. They are going to pick at every single thing the real estate agent does. Doesn’t matter if it’s the best agent that ever walked the planet, the significant other will find things to complain about…including
A. We bought a house too fast
B. We bought a house too slow
C. We didn’t look at enough houses
D. We looked at too many houses
E. We should have asked for more during inspections
F. We asked for too much during inspections
They will second guess everything, which will make the transaction much more stressful and much less rewarding. I’ve seen this behavior from both significant others and parents of children buying homes. It is a real issue. As a couple you need to be in agreement on how to proceed and not have one of your own sowing doubt.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO BUY OR SELL A HOUSE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO USE YOUR FRIEND, YOU NEED TO TELL THEM.
This is the part that is difficult. This is the part that can cause problems, so let’s go over it.
1. You must tell your friend your intentions to buy or sell with someone else … You need to say something like, we are going to buy a house and we are using so and so, and this isn’t in any way a criticism of you, and you’ve done nothing wrong…we just prefer to use so and so.
2. As a real estate agent, there is NOTHING worse than waking up, going through the MLS and seeing a friends house listed for sale…and you never even got a call. I don’t know how it works in other businesses. Like, maybe there is some ethical considerations when choosing a doctor….but even then in a perfect world I would ask their opinion or for a referral. But, if we are friends, and we genuinely like to be around each other, why are you going somewhere else for your real estate needs? Doesn’t make any sense.
3. As a real estate agent, the SECOND worse thing is going to a party and seeing your friends, having a great time and then someone asking your friend how they like their new house …. That’s such a mess. You bought a house and didn’t even bother to tell me? What in the world is going on? How long were you going to keep that a secret, forever?
4. Again, it’s totally ok to use another real estate agent, but if you are friends with someone and don’t tell them you are using someone else before they find out, that’s on you. The real estate agent has a right to be pissed. They may be upset about it anyway no matter if you tell them or not, but that would be on them. That’s giving them the respect and the option to behave like a professional.
Sources: ME
Contact me at media@deerwoodrealtystl.com
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